A Spider in a dress

Every single person who has made it though the doors today has said some version of:

"Cold enough for you?"

How Minion 2 and I laughed, how droll, how original of you Sir/Madame now please shut the bloody door!

The shop is freezing, Mr H told us not to worry, we would be so busy re- stocking the shelves today from his recent buying trip, that we wouldn’t feel the cold. However he and Malcolm have spent the day in the office with the portable fire "doing the accounts", which is more like drinking tea, listening to Radio 4 and eating all the ginger nuts biscuits.

The passionate virgin came in again today, her real name is Miss Annabelle S-. Not that I have ever been invited to call her that. She is an older woman, very thin, very floral smelling and with, I think, the look of a hungry spider wearing a dress. She only buys romance and true crime and politely insists on being served by either Sam (who hides from her) or Minion 2 whom she thinks is a troubled and poetic young man in need of a woman’s guiding influence. I am, of course, not worthy of note although she did once inform me that really, I could be passable if I just tried a little.

Today she bought The Pirate’s Paramour and The Baron’s Bed-warmer plus Goriest Crime Scene Photographs 1942- 1956 volume 4.

She held on to holding Minion 2 hands as he passed over the change, looking at him sorrowfully and saying,

"Poor boy let me warm your frozen hands. You poor Darling boy,"

I lurked behind the shelves with a fly swatter; we keep for this very purpose just in case she made a sudden lunge at him and tried to drain his blood.

It is the sort of thing which happens all too often in second hand book shops.

Believe me; the industry is rife with undead attacks. I can only imagine it is something to do with the compounded weight of all those ideas in one place, the smell of ancient ink is like catnip to weirdoes.

Good news today is that http://www.amazon.co.uk/shops/samhaines2 will now take you to our Amazon store which will be updated with new stock as soon as my fingers thaw.