Happy Birthday

It is Minion Two’s birthday today. Happy Birthday Two! We have been celebrating already. Last weekend two kindly invited me out with a group of his friends for curry and beer. I had a lovely time and meet a really nice bunch of people and ate the nicest spinach and chicken curry I’ve had in ages.

This morning we had birthday cake with candles with morning tea. I cooked the cake but it was damned edible for all that. We shared it with the customers that were in at the time which included Strange Brian and JR Hartley. Low popped in on his day off to join us and Malcolm refused to come downstairs to join us. (He is getting more and more antisocial the older he gets.) Sam made a speech and then gave two the rest of the day off.

I won’t reveal how old two actually is today, but just say you’d never guess it to look at him and remind him that he is older than me

Things in the Shop Part One

Online (at Amazon) we sell quite a few CD and DVD this is because Sam is pretty happy not to infer with my running it and has even allowed me to pick the stock and control a very small stock-buying budget . I thought DVDs and CDs would sell so I occasionally pick a few up. Such lassitude is not allowed in the shop where energetically enforced rules insure only printed matter is on sale .But you will find a fair number of rogue objects on our shelves . So keeping with the unofficial and until it was pointed out to me unconscious theme of hardly ever talking about books on this blog supposed to be about our book shop and its stock, I thought I would discuss things in the shop which are not even the slightest bit booky.

I mentioned the stuffed sheep some blogs ago in connection with the strange disappearance of the craft section. The sheep is not for sale but we do get asked to sell it quite a lot. Usually by students looking to spent their loans and grants in September. Occasionally it gets stolen. I’m not sure how, we have a camera and the thing is quite large but every now and then, it is just not there.

When I was newly employed , many moon ago, I discovered one such theft and was really worried about how Sam would react. Sam just grinned and told me not to worry it would be back. He was proved right at the time and has been ever since. When it disappears it is always back, waiting at the front door within the week. I’ve not idea why someone would steal it just to return it so quickly. But then I’ve no idea why Sam insists we keep it. Once a month, two or I have the task of talcing it i.e. covering it in talcum powder to keep the smell down. It has as previously mentioned alarmingly beady little eyes.

Other objects of interest on our tour today include;

A broken fiddle by the till. One of Sam’s many. I’m not sure what he does to them but he sure gets through them
Various scented geranium in pots – mine I’m afraid. I like them and everywhere needs living greenery.
Small collection of screwed up bits of paper, a ping pong ball and a damp child’s mitten belonging to Malcolm. We have no idea why he keeps them but he gets really offended if you try to move them.
A fish tank with no fish and no water. Used as the repository of lost and found things including the interest things we find used as book marks.
A pair of massive curved horns. Not sure from what but it must have been huge.
A pallid bust of Pallas as previously mentioned on this blog
A yoyo , packet of cards , and three juggling balls property of two
A huge collection of lighters. These belong to Sam, he collects them. Some of them come from pretty famous people according to Sam but he just keeps them all jumbled up in huge spice chest which takes up one of the walls of his office.
A photo of a smug looking ginger cat pinned prominently on the staff notice board.
The skull of a Giant Auk cast in bronze.
An long museum case with a snake skin in it . Really long and some sort of python . It is predictably referred to Monty and has on occasioned unnerved the unwary visitor to the Natural History section where he lives.

Pour Salt on it.

Another day without Sam, however he did phone in instructions this morning for Two and I on the important matter of Presuming Ed. Although we have been authorized to buy stock for years, Sam usually insists that he and only he deals with P. Ed.

He once told me that we lacked the essentially fiendish nature necessary for successfully making deals with him.
His instructions today were clear, if it looks like a bargain: consider it, if it looks like a completely fantastic bargain, be very very wary and if it looks like a steal spill salt on it. I assumed that wasn’t a literal instruction but one of Sam’s odder proverbs.

Anyway I think we did OK between us, new stock will be appearing on-line soon. We did I’ll admit buy a few items for quirk value – learn French with Edgar Allen Poe anyone? – but mostly we were depressingly conservative in our selection. Still we will see tomorrow when Sam is here to inspect the stock.

Just thought I’d end today’s entry by blatant plugging of an author who book we do not have in stock. I mentioned Kate Griffin’s A Madness of Angels previously. Really it’s very good, have a hunt round for it. It is good solid meaty fiction, a meal of a book -starter main and dessert. Not just, as I find so often, a bag of sweets which though lovely at the time, do leave you feeling ever so slightly sick afterward.

It is the story of Matthew Swift a London based sorcerer, of why he died and what happen after. The book has a long and slightly confusing prologue which makes total sense when you have finished the book, so please stick with it. I enjoyed it enormously. Kate Griffin is an author I would happily buy a drink for. (The ultimate accolade from a poor second-hand book vendor such as myself.)

Obviously she not Graham Joyce who is a fabulous writer but who gets my undying and slightly stalkerish loyalty because he once bought me a curry – but really please go and check her work out.

When I got in this morning, I found a small pile of feathers and no pigeon. Malcolm was asleep on the window seat looking smug. I fear the worse.

Sam is not in today so two and I have been taking liberties. Sam believes the shop should be a quiet place where the only sounds heard are the sneezes of customers as they take down books and displace tones of dust and of course the merry ringing of the till. Two and I therefore like to indulge in something more musical when Sam is safely away. Unfortunately this causes disruptions in the normal excellent working relationship between two and myself as our music tastes find little common ground. It is true that I have come to appreciate some of Metallica’s back catalogue but Toyah is a screechy step too far and two has gained an appreciation of the Hoosiers and Kaiser Chiefs but if I go any jazzier than that he begins to mutter under his breath in a most alarming manner.

However we both agree low will never again be allowed to play his choice of music. I was expecting dark and miserablist but the tuba solo throw me to start with, then when the bagpipes came in I felt quite queasy and all our customers left.

One of our favourite dealer-men is in tomorrow, Presuming Ed. I’m looking forward to it. He always brings us goodies, lots of good quality general stock but usually something special which disappears in the Sam’s private collection. Last thing I got from him was a unchecked proof of Kate Griffins A Madness of Angels, which is an excellent book if you enjoy the urban magic sub-genre, which I do.

Catch up

I’m very much back in work now. So I thought I’d catch you up on the news from Sam’s. First we are having a wedding. Jane our older S and M sister is getting married. Apparently the new trills in her life (from the books) have given her a sparkle which bought her to the attention of a certain gentlemen from the sheltered accommodation where she lives. In her sister's words ‘she snaffled the only decent bachelor in the place ‘
Both blushing bride to be and bashful groom came in today to ask two and myself to be ushers. How nice. We of course said yes. Apparently the wedding will be an epic affair and the bride as it is her first wedding will be wearing white and a veil. The groom seems a fine young man, being only seventy.
Malcolm has whilst I was away disgraced himself quite badly and is the current target of Sam’s icy disdain. Malcolm bought a live pigeon into the shop which we have so far been unable to capture. It has eaten Sam’s secret stash of ginger nut biscuits and blemished both books and the coats of customers which has hit Sam where it truly hurts –his pocket. I’m quite enjoying the gentle cooing as I work.
Strange (aka dashing but hairy) Brian continues to enjoy his bobble liberation having become a bit of a star on our local radio station with his spirited and eloquent comments on pretty much anything that occurs to him
Sam’s nephew, Harry, came in again while I was away. Two reports that he and Sam spent several hours in Sam’s office and raised voices were to be heard.
Two and low are well. That terrible smell has moved into the thriller section and we seem to have acquired a white marble bust of (Sam says) “Pallas to go above our chamber door” Due to Health and Safety concerns, i.e. it is very heavy, we are currently using it to prop open the door of the engineering section.

You can't catch it from a blog you know.

It is always nice to be part of something bigger than yourself. I’ve recently had the life affirming experience of joining a growing army round the world and going down with Swine Flu. My version was pretty mild by all accounts but really, really unpleasant never the less.
Still the bits when I wasn’t feeling like death was the only option, were pleasant even enjoyable. Too tired to do anything around the flat, I lay on the bed for two days and read so many books. I’m currently enjoying the popular psychology /economic genre – I recommend Richard Wiseman’s .59 seconds and I’ve just started Nudge by Thaler and Sunstein. The book that triggered me off this topic was Derren Brown’s absolutely fantastic Tricks of the Mind which is a highly readable ragbag of interestingness.
Then when I was better I watched a bunch of old movies; Blithe Spirit –with Margaret Rutherford as the medium Madame Allcantie; High Society; Harvey; and The Lady Killers.

I’ll blog again soon and more cheerily I promise