Just a quick one tonight as Minion two and I are off to the Hay on Wye Festival in a few minutes. If you are a second hand book shop fan (and if you aren’t why are you reading this?) you must visit Hay. The town centre is small but contains 30 odd major book shops some of which are specialist and others general. Plus it is beautiful and has a fudge shop. Only don’t try to stay in the town during the festival unless you have had the foresight to book 3 years in advance.
Two and I are just going to watch Dylan Moran, whose character in the TV series Black Books is the very pinnacle of second hand book shop keepers and of course have a look at some books.
We are busy again at the moment and our favourite stand in book seller Low is working with us I’ll write later this week and introduce Low to you properly
Wednesday 27 May 2009
Monday 18 May 2009
Milton he just gets funnier and funnier!
Miss S cornered Sam at the junction between Popular and Unpopular science today. She wanted to talk poetry; she’d spotted Sam at the desk reading Milton which Sam likes to declaim to us if the shop is quiet. He reads it out aloud in a very serious manner, lines like,
Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;
And in the lowest deep a lower deep
Still threat'ning to devour me opens wide,
To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heav'n
Then he laughs like a hyena until he cries.
We left him there for 20 minutes before we rescued him. He would have done the same for us.
Which way I fly is Hell; myself am Hell;
And in the lowest deep a lower deep
Still threat'ning to devour me opens wide,
To which the Hell I suffer seems a Heav'n
Then he laughs like a hyena until he cries.
We left him there for 20 minutes before we rescued him. He would have done the same for us.
Tuesday 12 May 2009
I've Been Busy
Our esteemed employer, Sam, has a variety of methods for letting you know he's displeased with you. There's the obvious shouting and waving of arms - admittedly it's mostly Malcolm who suffers this sort of abuse; there's the low growl in his chest that permeates the shop, echoing off the shelves, which is often heard after a customer asks if we stock any Dan Brown novels; there's the quiet, inventive swearing that follows those rare occasions when a seller persuades Sam to part with more money than he wants to - I once had to look up in a medical dictionary a word that Sam had used to describe someone and actually blushed upon reading the definition.
And then there's the cold, hard glare accompanied by glacial silence.
That's what I've been getting for the last couple of days.
One has been very kind to me - she's been making me tea and listening to me babble on and on about my woes - but Sam, I've discovered, has little sympathy for the broken hearted. As One has previously mentioned, these last few weeks I've been - I admit - head over heels with a lady friend whom I met through the shop. She had come in and asked about a certain author, I had offered my opinion and simply chatted with her. A few days later, to my surprise, we were out on our first date.
She started spending time at the shop, got on with both One and Malcolm (who are both excellent judges of character) and everything was going fine until . . .
Until it wasn't. She broke up with me a few days ago and hasn't been in the shop since. While One has been a good and reassuring friend, Sam has been giving me the cold stare and silent treatment. One actually approached him earlier today and asked why he was annoyed with me.
"Love at his age is a fleeting thing. It arrives quickly and then leaves but will always be replaced by a new one given time," he said, stacking some books. "Customers, however, once lost will never return."
The moral of Sam's story: never date a customer.
And then there's the cold, hard glare accompanied by glacial silence.
That's what I've been getting for the last couple of days.
One has been very kind to me - she's been making me tea and listening to me babble on and on about my woes - but Sam, I've discovered, has little sympathy for the broken hearted. As One has previously mentioned, these last few weeks I've been - I admit - head over heels with a lady friend whom I met through the shop. She had come in and asked about a certain author, I had offered my opinion and simply chatted with her. A few days later, to my surprise, we were out on our first date.
She started spending time at the shop, got on with both One and Malcolm (who are both excellent judges of character) and everything was going fine until . . .
Until it wasn't. She broke up with me a few days ago and hasn't been in the shop since. While One has been a good and reassuring friend, Sam has been giving me the cold stare and silent treatment. One actually approached him earlier today and asked why he was annoyed with me.
"Love at his age is a fleeting thing. It arrives quickly and then leaves but will always be replaced by a new one given time," he said, stacking some books. "Customers, however, once lost will never return."
The moral of Sam's story: never date a customer.
Monday 11 May 2009
this week we have mostly been...
It had been a quiet week here at Sam Haine’s business has been ticking over nicely. Two and I have been working on a spring clean of the children, astrology and occult sections. They meet at a rather unruly junction mid shop, and as Sam supports a Venn diagram effect to book placement one shelf sports a solitary book entitled “Dr Dee’s first book of planets and their placements”.
The high point of the week was spotting Strange Brian talking to a young and attractive woman. No so unusual you would think for a grown man to talk to a grown woman, but rather a breakthrough for Strange Brian whose previous attempts to communicate have often looked dangerously like stalking.
We were rather thrown by an unexpected arrival this morning. Sam had disappeared about business and we weren’t expecting him back until mid afternoon. So we were thrown when this guy, quite young, blond, far too sharply dressed wandered in asking to see him. I assumed he had something to sell and explained that although the owner was away I could look at his stock. To which he smirked and said
“I bet you could, darling “
Ick.
Seeing my unimpressed face, he stopped smirking and said
“Just tell Uncle Sam, Harry is here to see him.”
“Harry Haines?”
Said Two who had by now wandered over.
“No” he said like he was talking to simpletons “Scratch. Harry Scratch “.
When we final convinced him Sam was really out, he scowled, told us to be sure and tell his Uncle Sam that Harry had called and would call back and stomped off.
Sam has a nephew, wow. He always said he had no family and was heartily glad of it.
Mind you if my nephew was a charmless as Harry I’d disclaim him too.
The high point of the week was spotting Strange Brian talking to a young and attractive woman. No so unusual you would think for a grown man to talk to a grown woman, but rather a breakthrough for Strange Brian whose previous attempts to communicate have often looked dangerously like stalking.
We were rather thrown by an unexpected arrival this morning. Sam had disappeared about business and we weren’t expecting him back until mid afternoon. So we were thrown when this guy, quite young, blond, far too sharply dressed wandered in asking to see him. I assumed he had something to sell and explained that although the owner was away I could look at his stock. To which he smirked and said
“I bet you could, darling “
Ick.
Seeing my unimpressed face, he stopped smirking and said
“Just tell Uncle Sam, Harry is here to see him.”
“Harry Haines?”
Said Two who had by now wandered over.
“No” he said like he was talking to simpletons “Scratch. Harry Scratch “.
When we final convinced him Sam was really out, he scowled, told us to be sure and tell his Uncle Sam that Harry had called and would call back and stomped off.
Sam has a nephew, wow. He always said he had no family and was heartily glad of it.
Mind you if my nephew was a charmless as Harry I’d disclaim him too.
Monday 4 May 2009
The story so far.
It has been a while since my last blog for which I apologize. I have been away and Minion 2 was going to look after you but he is currently in love and so is no use to man or beast.
I went to visit my folks in Wales and spent some time in an old watering hole of Dylan Thomas, nearly every wall had a blue sign saying Dylan Thomas stayed here, or ate here or throw up and had to have a little sit down here. Still the bay was beautiful, the woods fecund and wild, the walking bracing and I saw seals.
But to business, what is happening in the shop? The S&M sisters have been in again. We had to find them a large print Karma Sutra, as a reference book so that they can check what exactly the books meant. Apparently they have started a reading group in the home and have a devoted circle of admirers who turn up to hear them read snippets from the books. The sisters were vaudeville performers once upon a time and so are ’more than capable of giving a spirited reading, which still carries to the back of the room‘ I am told. The mind boggles.
The JR Hartley addict has been in after some negotiation and I don’t know, probably bizarre blood rites in which he pledged his soul to the shop , or at least his wallet to Sam, been allowed entry to the holy of holies , Sam’s specialist collection. He left after several hours practically glowing from within like the Galahad having seen the Grail.
Malcolm fell from the top shelf where he had apparently been sleeping and alarmed a nun.
Horrible smell has now moved to the horror section, where it seems to be enjoying James Herbert. Minion 2 is trying to get it interested in other writers and keeps leaving Tim Lebbon books open for it.
Most curiously Strange Brian bereft of bobble, is slowly emerging from his habitual outfits in to some thing newer and smarter all together. Feeling unable to wear his hat sans bobble (“I mean it’s just a mockery isn’t it? “He said) the large duffel coat just had to go too. So he appeared in a leather duster which along with the furious beard made him look like the sort of person neighbours later describe as a quiet loner.
I found him in the sci-fi /steam punk section clutching his head and having a mild panic attack Sam correctly identified his malady and grabbed his spare hat from the hook by the door. It was his rather natty Blue Straw trilby with pink band; he firmly stuck it on SB head and yelled
“Keep it “as he rushed back to whatever.
When we next saw him he was wearing a shabby navy suit and the trilby. The week after the suit was upgraded to a smart sharply ironed number with crisp white t shirt. As SB was leaving I complimented him on the new look and put a white Gerbera in his button hole for him. He confessed he was thinking of trimming his beard a little. Wow, we might know what SB looks like any day now!
I went to visit my folks in Wales and spent some time in an old watering hole of Dylan Thomas, nearly every wall had a blue sign saying Dylan Thomas stayed here, or ate here or throw up and had to have a little sit down here. Still the bay was beautiful, the woods fecund and wild, the walking bracing and I saw seals.
But to business, what is happening in the shop? The S&M sisters have been in again. We had to find them a large print Karma Sutra, as a reference book so that they can check what exactly the books meant. Apparently they have started a reading group in the home and have a devoted circle of admirers who turn up to hear them read snippets from the books. The sisters were vaudeville performers once upon a time and so are ’more than capable of giving a spirited reading, which still carries to the back of the room‘ I am told. The mind boggles.
The JR Hartley addict has been in after some negotiation and I don’t know, probably bizarre blood rites in which he pledged his soul to the shop , or at least his wallet to Sam, been allowed entry to the holy of holies , Sam’s specialist collection. He left after several hours practically glowing from within like the Galahad having seen the Grail.
Malcolm fell from the top shelf where he had apparently been sleeping and alarmed a nun.
Horrible smell has now moved to the horror section, where it seems to be enjoying James Herbert. Minion 2 is trying to get it interested in other writers and keeps leaving Tim Lebbon books open for it.
Most curiously Strange Brian bereft of bobble, is slowly emerging from his habitual outfits in to some thing newer and smarter all together. Feeling unable to wear his hat sans bobble (“I mean it’s just a mockery isn’t it? “He said) the large duffel coat just had to go too. So he appeared in a leather duster which along with the furious beard made him look like the sort of person neighbours later describe as a quiet loner.
I found him in the sci-fi /steam punk section clutching his head and having a mild panic attack Sam correctly identified his malady and grabbed his spare hat from the hook by the door. It was his rather natty Blue Straw trilby with pink band; he firmly stuck it on SB head and yelled
“Keep it “as he rushed back to whatever.
When we next saw him he was wearing a shabby navy suit and the trilby. The week after the suit was upgraded to a smart sharply ironed number with crisp white t shirt. As SB was leaving I complimented him on the new look and put a white Gerbera in his button hole for him. He confessed he was thinking of trimming his beard a little. Wow, we might know what SB looks like any day now!
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