The Further Adventures of the Terrible Smell

Strange Brian, has forwarded a theory to explain the odd and
intermittent smell in the shop.
It has been particularly vibrant recently becoming so peculiar, so
specific unto its self that we have come to regard it as an entity in
its own right.
This is, in fact, what Brian maintains it is.
Brian walked in on friendlily banter between myself and Two about the
subject, which has be proven, despite his earlier blog on this subject
not in fact to be in any way caused by Two or activities of Two. Despite
it's affinity with Malcolm we have no reason to believe that they are
related either, and myself and Sam were discounted from the scope of
inquiry sometime ago.

(Sam incidentally always smells of heat, the smell of stones baked in a
summer sun, a curious smell but if you are the type of person to notice
these kinds of things you'd recognise it instantly. Two smells of
Chocolate and washing powder and Malcolm smells, often unfortunately, of
what ever he has been napping on, or near.
It is weird but I'm female and we notice this kind of stuff.)

SB when appealed to for his opinion first looked at us as if we were
deranged and then told us in tones clearly indicating that we should
know this, that the smell was in fact a pan dimensional being, only able
to manifest himself in our world as a non-corporal being. Apparently
this sort of thing is well documented in the kind of magazines Brian
reads. Brian further advanced the theory that he, the pan-dimensional
being, seems particularly fond of Arthur Ransome adventures.

When Two mentioned this theory to Sam, Sam looked grumpy and said
" I don't care what dimension he is from, this is not a library, go and
tell him to buy before he reads our books. I will expect this matter to
be resolved by the end of the week"

Now Two and I are left with an even more troublesome question, how do
you stop a pan-dimensional being shop lifting?